The High Vibe Guide
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The High Vibe Guide
31. Being Your Own Best Date: Self-Love Revolution
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Ever feel like you're constantly living for others and forgetting about the most important relationship you'll ever have? I'm Jenna, and in today's episode of The High Vibe Guide, we explore the transformative power of dating yourself. Imagine a world where you don't rely on external approval or distractions to feel whole — just you and your thoughts, truly content.
Today, I challenge you to reframe this narrative. Embrace the concept of dating yourself to strengthen that inner dialogue and build a fortress of self-love. Tune in to learn how a strong relationship with yourself serves as your ultimate shield against negativity and a source of unshakeable happiness.
How do you date yourself?? I'd love to know!
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Welcome to the High Vibe Guide, the podcast where I demystify the concept of raising our vibration. I'm Jenna, a yoga teacher, mum of three and passionate advocate for helping others to just feel happier. Let me explain to you how we can all live more contented and fulfilled lives and how it's so much easier than you think. Hi guys, welcome back. So today's topic is dating yourself. Have you come across this concept before? I have, and, to be honest, it's really only kind of clicked for me how important dating yourself really is. And I think the idea of dating yourself may seem strange to some of us. Some may think it's a waste of time, effort. Some people may think that taking yourself out of an evening or on the weekend just feels like too much. Maybe you'd rather just collapse into a sorry ball on the sofa and binge watch Bridgerton. I feel you, and I think that this concept of dating ourselves becomes less and less viable, or maybe realistic, or maybe even achievable, desirable maybe, once we hit our 30s and I may be making a bit of a sweeping statement here, but this is certainly how it feels for me Mainly because I think by the time we leave our 20s and enter into our 30s, usually we have more responsibilities. We're basically fully fledged adults now, which is quite scary. We can't pretend anymore, and I think that with this territory comes less time for ourselves. We have to think about other people and their needs more, whether that's a partner, a boss, social groups, relatives I mean, if you have children, then it's another ball game and completely. But regardless of what your commitments and your responsibilities are, we can get to a point where these things take up a lot of our lives, the majority of our day, and we then stop prioritising time for ourselves. And remember I am talking about dating yourself. I'm not actually referring to the idea of escaping of an evening to hang out with a friend or even do something nice with your partner. I'm talking about actually spending time with yourself, just you, no one else.
Speaker 1:Remember I've said before the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will ever have. It is the only one that's permanent, never going away, and you are the person you spend most of your time talking to, through your thoughts, and you can only concentrate solely on yourself when you are on your own, not when you're with someone else. No matter how much you enjoy spending time with that person, you need the quiet from the outside to focus on the relationship you have with yourself. So if you don't nourish this relationship, if you don't nurture it, feed it with all of the good stuff, then you most likely find that you place your happiness on external things, external people, material things, and this implies that what you have inside isn't enough. Finding happiness on your own is one of the most important things you could ever hope to achieve, and I think this also applies to finding love, to finding a partner. You have to fill up your own cup and let them then fall in love with the overflow. How beautiful is that, guys? But more than that, it applies to everything in life.
Speaker 1:This concept, it's like how so many of us are incapable of sitting in a cafe on our own without having our phone out, and I feel it sometimes, and it's very unnerving when you become aware of it I do feel that subtle urge to just check my phone again, quick scroll on Instagram, check my emails. How's this week's podcast doing? Imagine being so content with just your own thoughts that you didn't need something else to fill the void. Now, I believe that this comes down to our inability to just be with ourselves these days, and when we can't find that bliss and fulfillment inside us, we seek it elsewhere. And what do I mean by this? I think it means that we are at the mercy to everything and everyone around us, because now these external things govern how we feel.
Speaker 1:And I want to talk about loving kindness for ourselves. Loving kindness for ourselves, because if we do not have this for ourselves, what is going to happen when someone else decides to say something horrible to us or about us? Do you think we are more likely to believe it if we haven't got that loving kindness for ourselves? Most definitely so. So what's the answer, what's the solution? We have to make the relationship we have with ourselves so damn strong. We have to feed it and nurture it and make it the strongest relationship that you have ever had and that you will ever have in your entire life. Because what happens then? If someone then says something horrible about you? It'll just be like water off a duck's back, because you know yourself well enough that this isn't true, well enough that this isn't true. And there are so many ways to build this relationship with yourself, to find that clear channel to your inner calm, your inner wisdom.
Speaker 1:Yoga is one, meditation is another. I know I know guys, I know I talk about meditation all the time, but it's honestly the one thing which has just proven to be just magic. It's proven that magic exists, and I'm a yoga teacher so I can't not mention it when I know these things work. Meditation, especially, has changed everything in my world. Once you get past that first barrier the boredom, maybe even the frustration, you know, waiting for it to do anything to take effect Once you get past that, it's just magic. Something flips in your mind and you have so much more capacity for love, patience, for kindness and compassion, not just to yourself, but to everyone around you, not just to yourself, but to everyone around you. And what yoga then does is helps to establish this mind-body connection, this compassion for yourself and your body. Your body is your temple, this amazing body you have where you can tune in to the movements of your body and the breath and feel yourself opening up and becoming stronger. And then this mindset spills over off the mat and into your everyday life, and the effects mentally are then incredible.
Speaker 1:So today I want to tell you, to ask you, to encourage you to spend more time with yourself, to date yourself. Now I will be honest and tell you guys up front, I do not do this enough and I thought that by making this week's episode about this topic, that it would then encourage me and motivate me to make more effort and do more things for me, myself and I, and notice how I'm not just saying to spend time alone. I want you to actually date yourself, because, think about it, what do we do when we're getting ready for a date? How do we feel? We feel excitement, anticipation, joy. We think about what we're going to wear and how we'll do our hair. Maybe think about what we might talk about on the date, maybe Especially when we actually really like the person, and you should really like yourself. So you should feel excited about the concept of dating yourself. You wouldn't date someone that you didn't like. Well, maybe you might at first, but then, upon realising you don't like them, you stop dating them, hopefully. So carve out time, plan a date for you and yourself.
Speaker 1:If you fancy it, go and splash out in a fancy restaurant, go for a romantic walk, or maybe it's as simple as cooking yourself a really nice meal at home. Maybe it's even takeout, light a candle, put some nice music on and just get used to being with yourself, take the time to experience your own company, realise how amazing you are, what it's like to be in your presence, treat yourself and, like with many things that we talk about on here, yes, it might feel uncomfortable and weird, maybe even difficult at first. Maybe this quiet even makes you aware of how you are really uncomfortable with your own thoughts, in this quiet, with nothing else to distract you from them. But can I just tell you that this discomfort you might be feeling is actually a good thing, and do you know why? It's because this discomfort is actually showing you that there's room for you to feel better. It shows that there is room in your life for amazing things, amazing experiences, more happiness and more joy. It's showing that you aren't living your life to its fullest potential. You aren't living your life how you are meant to be living it.
Speaker 1:Because if you are uncomfortable with the quiet and with your own thoughts, it proves that you are either unaware of the autopilot that your brain is operating in or you know that you don't speak to yourself like the tremendous king or queen that you are meaning. You're most likely stuck in negative thought patterns, and remember these thought patterns. They fuel your emotions, which then fuel your behaviours, and then this spills out into your reality and shapes your life. So remember that your thoughts shape your life. It all links back to how we speak to ourselves. So go on, date yourself. Date yourself at this moment.
Speaker 1:Take yourself back now to the best date you have ever had, or if you've only had really rubbish dates, then think about the best date that you could ever imagine. Going on, how do you feel? What are you thinking? What you feel? What are you thinking? What are you doing? What are you talking about? And replicate this for you and yourself. And look, I know this can seem silly, but to me it's pure common sense, seeing as the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important one we will ever have. It will determine the quality of your life. Trust me, please don't waste time not investing in yourself, not loving yourself, because the better the relationship you have with yourself, the more you will respect yourself, the more you actually like who you are, the way you treat others, the way you think and the way you express your opinions. The better that all these things are, the happier you will feel, the more fulfilled you'll be, the more contented you will experience more joy and happiness in your day to day, and this will just keep fueling back inwards and creating even more joy and even more happiness, which will enrich your own life as well as those around you. The journey is always inwards, so that's it for today.
Speaker 1:Guys, I had an urge to talk about this this week, but I really hope that you enjoyed the episode last week with Tom with Tom Shanty, where we spoke about his time spent as a Buddhist monk. This was one of my favourite conversations so far. If you haven't listened yet, go and tune in. I think you will love it. I can't believe how many of you have actually listened to it already, just in a few days. It's by far one of the most popular conversations I've had and the feedback I'm getting from it has been amazing and it really was a pure joyful experience to talk to him. So go and have a listen if you haven't already. But today's advice plan your next date with yourself.
Speaker 1:I would love to hear what everyone's done, so please let me know. You can get in touch with me via Instagram. Just send me a DM it's thehighvibeguide or send me an email at hello at yogawithjennacom. Thank you, guys. As always, so much for tuning in. Keep looking for the good stuff and I will see you back here next time. Looking for the good stuff and I will see you back here next time. Thank you all so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share with your friends and family to continue spreading that positivity. You can find me on Instagram at thehighvibeguide. Get in touch. I would love to hear from you. Thank you all so much for listening and I'll see you back here next time at the high vibe guide.