The High Vibe Guide
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The High Vibe Guide
33. Thoughts are NOT Facts! Rewire Your Mind for Positivity & Success
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Have you ever considered that your thoughts might be lying to you? Join me in this eye-opening episode, where we unravel the powerful concept that "thoughts are not facts."
Discover how our thoughts shape our reality and learn practical strategies to reframe negative thinking patterns. By understanding and challenging our thoughts, we can rewire our minds for greater positivity and happiness.
Tune in as I delve into the transformative power of mindset and provide actionable steps to elevate your life. Begin your journey towards a more positive, high-vibe you!
@thehighvibe.guide
Welcome to the High Vibe Guide, the podcast where I demystify the concept of raising our vibration. I'm Jenna, the woke teacher, mum of three and a passion advocate for helping others to just feel happy. Let me explain to you how we can all live a more contented and fulfilled life. I'll see you next week. Hi guys, welcome back to the High Vibe Guide. We are here for all things wellness, personal growth and just living your very best life, your highest vibing life. I'm so glad you're joining me today. You've tuned in to one of the topics that I am continually blown away by.
Speaker 1:Thoughts are not facts. When I first heard this, it was just monumental for me. It was amazing how it truly stopped me in my tracks and made me realise a whole lot of stuff, but mainly how the mind really is so powerful and that we really do have so much more control over our own lives and our own happiness, more than we think. So I want to explore how our thoughts shape our reality and how, by changing the way we think, we can change and transform our lives. So, to start, let's clarify what we actually mean by thoughts and facts. So thoughts are the internal beliefs and perceptions that we have about ourselves and the world around us right the thoughts that we have all the time going around constantly in our minds. But what's important to note here is that our thoughts are subjective and they are heavily influenced by our emotions, our past experiences and our biases, whereas facts, they are objective and they are verifiable aspects of reality. So, for example, consider the thought I'm not good enough, I'm not good enough to start a business, to apply for this dream job, to obtain that level of fitness, blah, blah, blah. I'm not good enough. This is a subjective belief and it often stems from insecurity or past experiences, or a combination of the two, but mainly past experiences that have resulted in a very strong emotion being created, which has then influenced and helped to create this thought that we aren't good enough. The fact might be that you actually have numerous accomplishments and skills, but it's understanding this distinction which is crucial, because it helps us to see that our thoughts are not always trustworthy. They are not always a true reflection of our reality.
Speaker 1:So let's take a moment to think about a common negative thought that you might have and then ask yourself is this a fact or is it just a thought? Is this a fact or is it just a thought. This simple practice can be the very first step in transforming your thinking. We are gaining awareness of our thoughts. You see how self-awareness comes into play again here. It's very important. It's very important If we want to ignite any kind of change in our lives. We must be aware of what's currently going on in our minds, most likely without us even noticing. And what a lot of us don't realise is that our thoughts have such a profound impact on our lives. So CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy we've all heard about what that does is teaches us that the thoughts we have, they influence our emotions, how we feel, and then that influences our behaviors, the way we act, and our behaviors then influence what happens around us in our immediate reality.
Speaker 1:So negative thinking patterns by this way of thinking can lead to negative, creating this kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. So, for instance, if you constantly think I'll never be successful, how are you going to feel? Most likely you'll feel demotivated and you'll avoid taking actions that could lead to success. You just won't be looking out for these opportunities or even actively seeking them, because on a deeper level, you don't believe they matter, because they don't apply to you. If you aren't going to pursue them. What's the point? Because you aren't successful and you never will be.
Speaker 1:On the other hand, positive thoughts can lead to positive actions and outcomes. So if you imagine a person who was the polar opposite to that one we just described, a person who believed on every single level of their being that they were successful, and they chose to see every mistake or failing they've made as just that a mistake. It didn't define them and they were successful at everything they set out to do, how would that person act? How would they feel compared to a person who believed they weren't successful? I bet you, I can guarantee you, the person who believed they were successful would constantly be looking for opportunities that would create more success. That would create more success. They would see these opportunities everywhere and they'd be taking positive actions and steps in their everyday life and, most likely, feeling a hell of a lot more positive in general as well.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can even think back to a time in my own life when I was stuck in a negative kind of thought loop. I believed I was not capable of starting my own business. Literally. It never, ever even occurred to me. I never entertained the idea that I'd be able to do that, and I can remember now, using hindsight, how many opportunities and experiences I actively turned down simply because I didn't believe I could do it. I closed the doors to so many things, all because of this thought, this thought that had created this belief within me, a thought that was not based on facts, because in reality, I think I have many skills and accomplishments, just like we all do, but I was letting fear and self-doubt. Those are the negative thoughts, fear and self-doubt. They were reaffirming this thought and it became this self-fulfilling prophecy, this endless loop of negative thoughts and negative outcomes. I was stuck because I know I wanted more, but I wasn't giving myself the potential to carry them out myself.
Speaker 1:But when I began to challenge this thought, when I had my light bulb moment last year and I then created the High Vibe Guide and I began living by it, then created the high vibe guide and I began living by it I started replacing that thought with other ones. Like I am capable, I do have the skills to succeed. And when I did that, everything changed. I allowed myself to believe these thoughts and the fear then dissipated. I started taking actionable steps and now here I am. If someone had told me 18 months ago that I'd be here doing what I'm doing today. No way I would have believed them and all I started to do was change my thoughts. That's, honestly, all I did. I changed my thoughts.
Speaker 1:So I mentioned self-awareness before and it's identifying these negative and it's identifying these negative thought patterns which is the first step to challenging them. We have to increase this awareness of how our minds work for the majority of our day, because most of our thoughts, they happen on autopilot. We're not conscious of them and we aren't conscious of the program running behind them. We're like software and we just let them tick along, continuing to let them govern our emotions, which remember our emotions, then influence our behaviors and then our outcomes, our reality, and we do this not realizing we have the power to change them.
Speaker 1:We have hundreds of thousands of thought patterns running in our minds and some common negative thought patterns include things like kind of all or nothing thinking. Kind of all or nothing thinking that's me. Another common one is over generalization also me, and another common one is catastrophizing situations, also me. Put to, these sound familiar, I know they do for me, and I bet that you believe no one else experiences this type of thinking, or at least not as much as you do, that it's just you. You look at other people and think how they have everything together and it's just you that has problems. I know that you would genuinely be surprised at how many other people have these thoughts on a daily basis.
Speaker 1:Even the most successful people, the most positive people have these thoughts. But what these people do is they recognize them for what they are Just thoughts. They know that they don't hold any real weight. They can easily challenge them and replace them with more positive thoughts, and they can probably do this really easily, really quickly, because they have all these wonderful positive thought patterns going on that they've been running for a long time now. So it's easier for them. But was it hard for them in the beginning? Absolutely, and I'll tell you the truth, it'll be challenging for you too. But, like I said, the first step is recognising these patterns, becoming aware of them, and you can then begin to challenge and reframe them.
Speaker 1:Let me run you through a process, a really simple one that I do and that you can follow. So three steps. Number one identify the thought, notice the negative thought, and do this with no judgment and no criticism. Zero judgment. You can't be like oh God, I'm such an awful person for having this thought. God, how many times do I think and feel like this? Oh, how am I ever going to change? No, no, no, no, you can't do that. You've just got to begin harnessing this ability to notice your thoughts without letting it affect how you feel. Become kind of like a little curious. Kind of like a little curious. Become curious of how your mind's working. Stop, take a second and just go. Okay, that's interesting. I wonder why I might be thinking that or feeling like this. So that's step one identifying the thought without judgment.
Speaker 1:Number two challenge the thought. And you say challenge like it could be this great task, but all that can literally mean is just asking yourself. Ask yourself gently, with some compassion, ask yourself if this thought is a fact or just a belief. Remember, the two are not the same. A belief you have is based on a thought that you've had over and over and over again, which can make it feel real to you and like a fact. Just gently start to tap away at the outer edging of it, maybe starting to peek what's underneath, what might have created this thought or this belief, underneath what might have created this thought or this belief. So that's number two, challenging the thought.
Speaker 1:We first identify the thought, then we challenge the thought and then, number three, we reframe the thought. We must replace it with a more balanced and a more constructive thought. It's this active steering away from the negative that we need to become more accustomed to. So, for example, if you think I always mess up, challenge it by asking yourself is it true that I always mess up? And maybe reframe it to yeah, I've made mistakes, but I've also had so many successes. Remember that failure does not define you. No matter how many times you fail, it doesn't define you. It only defines you if you allow it to do so. And hey, even if you think that your reality is supporting that you're a failure. Maybe you have actually failed a lot of times. So you look at the facts and you think, whoa, I failed a lot. I must be a failure, because I can see all the proof in front of me. Why not reframe this to? Well, yes, I have failed quite a lot, but I am just on my journey to success. It's all part of the journey.
Speaker 1:I think that everyone has heard of how Thomas Edison failed at creating the light bulb over a thousand times. Imagine if he had had a negative thought pattern going on there. Imagine if he'd got to say attempt 25 and thought to himself hmm yeah, I failed 25 times. Now I'm so unsuccessful I'm never going to be able to do this, I'm going to give up. Now, it can't be done. But when you think about it, how many of us think like that? How many of us actually keep going? Literally don't stop until they've succeeded? I'll tell you who. I'll tell you who does that Successful people. They don't stop, they keep going. They don't let failure define them. They choose to see every mistake, every failure, as how not to succeed at what they want. They see every mistake as a lesson. And that's exactly what Edison did with the light bulb. He's famous for saying that he didn't fail. He just found a thousand ways not to invent the light bulb.
Speaker 1:And it does take a certain type of person to have that level of determination, that resilience type of person, to have that level of determination, that resilience and that faith in themselves. And yes, you know what. These people might make up a small percent of the population. But I have come to realise something we all have this capability. The only difference is we allow our brains to run on negative thinking. Autopilot. It's become our programmed norm and it holds us back in so many ways, but we all have the ability to change how we think. That's all it is. Is it challenging? Yeah, sure, in the beginning. If you think about it, we're literally creating brand new ways of thinking. It's going to be like learning to walk all over again, learning how to drive a car again, but you know what you did that, so you, you can do this. You can change your thought patterns.
Speaker 1:Now, if you want to talk specific methods on how to do this, if you're a person that you know needs structure and actual methods and practices to incorporate into your life, then let's talk about some. Let's talk about some practical strategies that you can use to change your thought patterns. Now I've outlined four, three or four, I think it's four. The first one I've spoken about before, I know, but it's mindfulness and meditation. Yep, here it is again, but let this be a message to you meditation is bloody miraculous.
Speaker 1:Practicing mindfulness, so, that's just the act of being present, noticing everything in the present. So, practicing mindfulness and practicing meditation, it helps you observe your thoughts without judgment and then detach from the negative ones. That is key here no judgment. So spend a few minutes each day meditating and focusing on your breath. That's the one constant we all have. I always say, when I'm leading meditations with people, that letting the breath be your anchor, it just helps you to gently steer your mind back to a state of calm. So when we allow the breath to be soft and we gently keep steering our focus back towards it, that simple act alone is strengthening the mind. That simple act of gently steering your attention back towards the breath is making it easier for us to get used to being in the present. It's building resilience in the mind and that's all meditation is trying to get us to do Getting comfortable in the present, getting comfortable in the present, getting comfortable in the quiet, and that's something we struggle to do as a society in this day and age.
Speaker 1:But this act will help you tune into your thoughts on a daily basis and increase that self-awareness that we've talked about, and then be able to recognize your negative thoughts without judging them or without letting them upset you. So that's my first one Meditation. I recommend meditation for every problem, if I'm honest. But the second one is positive self-talk, basically Affirmations. Now, affirmations are powerful statements that can reprogram your subconscious mind, and you might not believe me, might sound hooey, might sound woo-woo, but that is what we're doing we are reprogramming our subconscious minds. If you want more information on affirmations, go and listen to my episode, which is all about affirmations. It's a fairly recent one, but the key is to create affirmations that resonate with you. No point using ones that resonate with someone else. Ones that resonate with you, no point using ones that resonate with someone else. Ones that resonate with you and repeat them daily and let yourself believe them.
Speaker 1:Affirmations are great for reframing a negative thought or a belief. So, for example, I am capable and I am deserving of success. I am capable and I am deserving of success Whenever you notice yourself thinking I'm not good enough or I'm never successful. What we're doing here is we are stopping the negative thought in its tracks. Think about it this way that thought, that negative thought, is so used to riding along on the track that it does every day. All the time. Zero energy is being put into it. It happens by default. It's just chugging along in your mind, knowing that on its way, it's going to keep reinforcing these feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem, and it never faces any opposition. So when we suddenly stop it and throw a positive affirmation at it one day, through, you know, reframing the thought, when it stops that negative thought on its track, that negative thought is thrown off, it's causing a little break in its habit.
Speaker 1:And what you now need to be prepared for is that this thought it likes its place. This negative thought it likes its nice and comfortable pattern. It's not, it's got going on. So don't be surprised if the next time you challenge it it comes back stronger because it doesn't want to be stopped. It feels like it knows its place. It has a firm and solid place in your mind. That's its home. So when you do begin to challenge it, be prepared for some opposition. It's like facing an addiction. That withdrawal period can be very hard. The addiction, you know. The remaining drugs in the body are holding on for dear life. They put up a fight. And it's the same for our thought patterns.
Speaker 1:But these affirmations and this reframing, this positive thinking, it's stopping certain neurons from firing together, the ones that make up the negative thought, firing together the ones that make up the negative thought. I heard this amazing phrase from Dr Dispenza recently on. I think it was a Lewis Howes podcast where he said neurons that stop firing together stop wiring together and it works in reverse. And it works in reverse Neurons that fire together wire together. So the more we repeat these affirmations, the stronger this new thought pattern becomes. We are creating new ones. So make the neurons of these positive thoughts fire together more often, make them fire together all the time, get them wired together. And if you keep doing this, you will have created an entire new roadmap in your brain of all these positive thought patterns. You'll be thinking differently, you'll be feeling differently, you'll be believing differently and you'll be acting differently. So'll be acting differently. So if all that's happening, how different is your life gonna look? So that's the second one. Affirmations positive, self-taught guys, basically the third one.
Speaker 1:Yes, I've spoken about before one of my favorites. It's gratitude, focusing on what you are grateful for. It shifts your attention from the negative to the positive and it works quite similarly to reframing, where it's just getting your mind used to thinking positively. Like I said, I've spoken about gratitude so much and how it's changed my life so much for the better. Go and find my episode all about gratitude, but you can start a gratitude journal and write things down you're grateful for each day. Or if journaling isn't quite for you, then just start thinking about all the things you've got going on, that you can be grateful for, the things we take for granted. Stop and actually notice when something good is happening right in front of you and get used to the small things you know the morning cup of coffee, the sunset, the birds singing, a random nice pretty flower that you pass. Get used to feeling gratitude for these things and in no time at all you'll start feeling tremendous appreciation for everything else in your life. It spreads like wildfire once you get the knack.
Speaker 1:So my last method or practice for reframing the mind is using visualisation. Visualization I love, I do it all the time another practice that's just so bloody powerful. And do you know why? Our brains, as amazingly intricate and complex as they are when it comes to visualization, the brain cannot tell the difference between an actual experience and an imagined one. And let me explain why.
Speaker 1:When we're experiencing something wonderful, something utterly amazing that's created all of these wonderful and amazing emotions, we feel it in our bodies. When it's actually happening around us, we feel it in our bodies. Every single emotion represents itself in the body somewhere it's like. It's why we say you know they're hot-headed when they're angry or they went cold with fear. And think about, like, when we feel happy or we're feeling love, we feel a warmth, we feel lightness and we're excited or heaviness when we're sad or depressed. We literally hold emotions in our bodies and when we practice visualization, we can replicate these feelings in our bodies.
Speaker 1:If you think, how often have we reflected on a really awful experience or a memory that we've been through in the past? When we're reflecting on that, we're replicating the feelings that came along with it, with we're living it and experiencing it all over again. These emotions and the sensations in the body again and it's not just, you know, the obvious, recognizable sensations like you know, niggling in the tummy or tightness in the chest. It's also affecting things like our heart rate, our blood pressure, our blood chemistry. Even it's affecting us on a cellular level. It's affecting our health. So when we visualize something wonderful, the body experiences all the wonderful emotions and the physical sensations that come with them. And the more we do this, the mind and the body are becoming more and more used to feeling and operating in this more positive way.
Speaker 1:So practice imagining your desired future in vivid detail. Create this really positive mental image in your mind and feel everything with it. Imagine you have it around you now. Bring the feelings into the present and feel it in your body. And do it often, and you will feel so much more motivated to take steps towards that future. No matter how small or insignificant these steps might feel, you are affecting your reality just by changing the way you think, because you know what A really common misconception is that our thoughts are always true. In reality, thoughts are just mental events and they're not necessarily factual, and I've had this realization quite recently, guys, and I wanted to share it. Another thought which created a belief within me, without even being aware of it I've had this knee problem now for, I say, the last year or so, and it's progressively gotten worse.
Speaker 1:It got quite sore and almost to the point where it was affecting, you know, my work, my teaching, being able to demonstrate certain poses effectively. I had to stop all high impact exercise because running or I say I don't run, but even like slow jogging was making it really painful the next day. So I finally went to a physio, and I'm so glad that I did, because he was able to diagnose that I have patella femoral syndrome, I think that's how you pronounce it. But it's basically where my quad muscles are not as strong as my hamstrings and it's created this imbalance in the structure of my knee where my kneecap is pressing into the bottom of my thigh bone where it joins at the knee. And I was just suddenly transported back to my very early 20s.
Speaker 1:I was at a gym where I used to live in London and one of the very young PTs approached me and offered me a free PT session. I think from the feel of the gym, the PTs were just kind of bored and would go around offering out free sessions to try and convince you to sign up with them for like a program or something. But I was like yeah, I'll have a free session. And at the beginning of the session this is going about 13 years ago and I still can vividly remember this happening I remember him looking me up and down and said right, well, we don't want to be focusing on your quads, do we? So we'll do some glutes and hamstrings instead.
Speaker 1:And my young, very impressionable, very low self-esteem, hugely self-critical mind started to believe, or reaffirm, that I had huge thighs, something I was insecure about anyway as a young woman. But worse was the thought that other people thought so too, and I realized that this had affected the way I trained and exercised ever since I looked back to even my most kind of recent workouts that I do at home or in the gym and I never, ever focus on my quads and I wasn't even aware of the fact that I was doing this and look what it's done to me. I have affected my reality by one stupid thought I had 13 years ago. I've ended up with this syndrome where I experience quite a lot of pain at times and it's severely limited the way I move and the way I exercise. It's taken so much joy out of it. So now I'm not allowed to strengthen my hamstrings at all. Right now I just have to focus on building up strength in my quads to try and balance it out, in my quads to try and balance it out.
Speaker 1:So do you understand just what thoughts can do? And you know, you know what. He may have been a hugely insensitive young idiot and said something inconsiderate, you know, not knowing how this could have a lifelong impact on me, but he may have also just thought my quads are already quite developed and I needed to balance them out, you know. So who knows, who cares either way, but it resulted in me creating this internal belief from one single thought, based on that single thought I had nearly 13 years ago. It's just madness how it can affect your life.
Speaker 1:But one question I hear asked quite a lot, and one that I have considered too in the past, is how can I stop negative thoughts from coming up in the first place? And the honest answer here, guys, is we can't. The honest answer here, guys, is we can't. We can't stop negative thoughts from arising, but what we can do is change how we respond to them. It's all about observing these thoughts without getting caught up in them, and over time you'll notice these thoughts start to come up a lot less, and when they do come up, their intensity won't be anywhere near as strong.
Speaker 1:And I've got a really quick method that you can do when you get into the habit of noticing a negative thought and then being able to get yourself out of it before it goes any further, and this method is called the flip it method. So when you notice a negative thought, ask yourself what the opposite positive thought would be, for example. If you think I can't do this, flip it to. I can do this and I have the ability to succeed. Sit with it for a bit, allow yourself to believe it and see what happens. Trust me, give it a go. But your action step for this week is to start observing your thoughts and practice reframing one negative thought, just one, maybe even try it each day. One negative thought each day, because, remember, it's small, consistent changes that lead to really significant transformations. Baby steps, guys. It's all about the baby steps.
Speaker 1:So thank you for tuning in today, guys. It's such a highlight of my week sitting and recording these for you. I hope you found it empowering that's the word I want to use. It should feel empowering, knowing that you can take charge. And you know what, guys, if you have a minute, you've got 60 seconds. Leave me a little review. I can't tell you how much it means to me, firstly, but also how much it helps me in the podcast, because it's your support that helps drive this forward. But, most importantly, it's your support that's helping us reach more people who will genuinely benefit from what we're chatting about on here. So share it with anyone you think would enjoy it too, and join me next week for another high vibe topic to elevate your life. I should have another guest episode for you by then. It's very exciting, but until then, keep looking for all the good stuff and keep your thoughts positive. Thanks, guys. Guys love to hear from you. Thank you so much for listening.